Providence

We all have that one person who has had the most influence on our lives. That person for me was my mother. She was my champion, encourager, and friend. My mother died this past year and as I said goodbye to her earthly body I was struck with one thought: “We are only but a shell”. At her memorial service I shared her story. Embedded in her experience as follows, is why and how she has been most influential to me:

As I reflect on my mother’s life and look back to the experiences I have had as her youngest child, I think back to the one moment that changed the course of her life and my life as well. The one word that comes to mind regarding that experience is “providence”. And by providence, I mean the protective care of a God that is concerned about the details of our lives.

My mother was a mixture of many traits: fun, funny, strong, generous, feisty, stubborn, and most importantly a woman of faith in Jesus Christ. But this was not always so. She was raised in a denomination in a small town in Pennsylvania. I was raised in Alabama and often asked her how she ended up so far from home. Her reply was that as she experienced brutally cold winters on her walk to school, she determined she would move as far south as possible. Her move to Alabama was an interesting and circular route, but if God had not intervened in her life, I would not be able to share this story with you today. I was raised in church for a time as well, until major events rocked our family and caused us to fall away from church attendance.

I remember when I was 11, hearing my dad’s name on the local 6:00 pm evening news report. He was a a teacher at one of the prominent high schools in our city. I can still see the news anchor in my memories today and hear the exact words that were reported. I can still remember where I was standing and how the living room looked with its orange shag carpet that was popular from the 70’s. He had been fired from his job after false accusations. At the same time, our family was dealing with teenager angst and rebellion causing loss and significant change in our family dynamics. My mother’s American dream was crashing.

Prior to that news report there had been another. I remember an evening where the police were called to our house. That evening our peaceful, quiet suburb was shaken with the sound of gun fire. Someone had shot through our house into the master bedroom and into the very bed in which my mother should have sleeping prior to her night shift work as a nurse. An investigation by local police discovered the shooter was a disgruntled student. Had my mother not stayed up late to finish sewing a table cloth she would have been shot. But was this providence or coincidence?

Around that time, I remember seeing my mother almost hysterically smoking a cigarette for the first and only time in my life. She was dragging on it with nervous shaking fingers, sucking the smoke as if it could anchor and appease her soul. My very strong and always in control mother was being drastically rocked by these life changing events.

Soon after, my mother sought to end her life and had formulated a plan. On the very day she was to implement her plan, a coworker was praying to the Lord as she completed her daily devotions. In her prayer time, the Lord told her to go, find my mother, and introduce her to the power, saving grace, and healing of Jesus Christ. She responded immediately and as a result my mother was a drastically changed woman from that time until the day she passed from this world. So that is why I ask, providence or coincidence? And my answer is this: what the enemy of our souls meant for evil God turned into good. I would not be the person I am today and our family would not be intact today if God had not intervened.

I have delved deep in my family’s closet to share this story. My goal was to celebrate my mother, her life, and who she had become through the mercy and grace of Christ. So, after hearing my mother’s testimony, while I choose to believe in providence, you may continue to choose to believe in coincidence. And come to the conclusion that it is your choice to believe, as if what we believe makes it reality. Just remember this: while both conclusions take a level of faith, there can only be one Truth.

I share my mother’s story with you because I am thankful the God of this universe chose to speak to His follower and bring His good news to a desperate and hopeless woman. The change that God brought to my mother was miraculous and I share this as a testimony that God is able to bring this change to any of us who choose to believe.

This is not the end for my mother, but only the beginning. I will miss her, but I will comfort myself with the fact that she has gone on to the glory of heaven as promised to us by Jesus. The bible says: “No eye has seen, nor ear has heard , and no human mind can conceive the things that God has prepared for those who love Him” (I Corinthians 2:9). I can only imagine my mother running, laughing, jumping, and enjoying herself without the aches and pains she has experienced for so long. I will use this to encourage myself and hope that this can be an encouragement to all of you who wonder what lies beyond our present reality.

I pray that you find this Truth and I hope that I have inspired you to investigate the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.